“Together for many years, but no children or a stamp in the passport. What to do – to leave or stay?”

I am 26, I live with a guy (he is two years younger) and his grandmother. We meet from school, two years ago gathered. He does not want to marry (“The stamp in the passport does not change anything”), nor to have children (“I’m still small”). And I want all this since the age of 17, lost with him for 9 years. I work after three days, free days consist of cleaning, cooking and washing. Every time I think: I will redo everything in the morning, and then I will take care of self -development, but in the end I get tired so that there is no more strength left for anything. I did not take place in my career: at one time I entered the economic company for the company with a girlfriend. I have a bunch of complexes. I feel unnecessary in the house: his grandmother is transferring the guy’s things for me, I am preparing for his dinner to work – she throws up and puts her. I understand everything: three years ago her husband died, she focused on her grandson, but what should I do? Leave and rent an apartment? It’s scary to take a step into the unknown, and the guy will not let me go. He controls me in everything, demands that I constantly report: I came to work, got into the train. Say, he is worried. I feel inferior, ugly (after a day at work – bags under my eyes), slave – he puts all my salary in his wallet. There are no children, my housing, too, in the house I am a girl on the run, I won’t change my job. I don’t understand how to spend your life so mediocre. What’s wrong with me and what to do next?

Alena, your life is not over, you are just trying yourself in different everyday situations, gain experience. Everything is fine with you, everything is so, you just go through the test to determine your life values. Some people have been tormented all their lives, but do not think about what is wrong, and are afraid to change something, you are trying to revise the results of your experience.

It is important to understand what you want from the relationship, what feelings you feel for your partner. He can behave in accordance with his ideas and desires, but you need to decide and arrange priorities.

You write that you are afraid to go into the unknown, but that you mean by that? You have work, rent an apartment is not a problem, to inform you that you want to https://primeguardelectricals.com/what-exactly-is-onlyfans-the-best-publication-on-precisely-how-to-explore-an-enthusiastic-onlyfans-account/ live separately – your right. So you will have time for yourself and your development.

Does your boyfriend know about your emotional state? You offered him to change something in a relationship? He himself hardly wants to change something: he lives for pleasure, two women compete in satisfying his needs. The thought of breaking up is scared, but why did you decide that he would not let you go? What can he do?

He asks you to report on every step, because without you it cannot, or because he is pleased that you fulfill his desires? Do you believe in his ”care”? Why do you continue to play these games? Why do you need to fulfill his whims if you understand their meaninglessness? Why does the guy put your salary in his wallet? He does not take it away from you – you yourself give it.

From all of the above, we can assume that you have a certain idea of the behavior of a man and a woman in a relationship, a certain script. You can live all your life according to the rules proposed by other people, or you can take a chance and play your own option. It is not necessary to leave – for starters you could try to resist, stop agreeing to the proposed rules.

Now you are inwardly boiling, but do not share your discontent with your partner. You are scared that he will be dissatisfied and part with you? But while you are silently suffering, he cannot change and grow up, he does not have to make a choice – whether to give up his comfort and meet your requests or leave everything as it is.

Conflicts and quarrels help to clarify relationships and positions in the family, but before entering them, it is important to clearly understand what you want and what price are ready to pay for it.


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